Hello my flowers! Thank you for visiting my blog this week. We are starting with fresh new posts! The title sounds kind of weird doesn’t it? Well, keep reading to find out what on earth Lili (me) is talking about! (Just spoke in third person, oh whale *insert whale emoji here*)
Do you ever have “one of those days…when you just can’t seem to win”? Because I do. Boy, do I have them. If we are being completely honest, I just had one of those days yesterday! You try and you try and you try and you try and you try and you try and you try and you try, but, still nothing. Don’t feel bad, because, “everybody has those days”.
I am a very weird person, like it’s true. I am like the complete opposite of myself if that even makes sense. I am both fire and ice. I am both land and sea. I am both Anna and Elsa. I am both Donald Duck and Mickey Mouse. Like, it is so true. I am a mixture of everything. I don’t have one specific characteristic, other than being fabulous, of course. *flips super short hair*. For example, I am such a perfectionist, it HAS TO BE PERFECT. But at the same time, I am like, WHATEVER IT IS WHAT IT IS. Like, do you understand where I’m coming from? But when I feel either or, I feel it for real. So, there are just certain things I always try to keep as perfect as can be, and how ironic that everything I try to make perfect, comes out the complete opposite!
The bad thing that I struggle with, is that, when I mess up, when I do something wrong, ugh, I let my anxiety get to me, and I am super hard on myself, sometimes I even take it out on people. I know, that’s the complete opposite of being fabulous. But I am being totally honest with you. Last night I had one of those nights. I bombed a song (like a bad bomb), and I grew furious, I was so upset. I was so negative about it. Are you ever like, really upset so you go to bed really upset and the next day you wake up with a horrible headache? That’s how I felt this morning, I woke up late, my head was throbbing, and my body just felt fatigued. I DIDN’T EVEN REMOVE MY MAKEUP FROM LAST NIGHT! That’s how upset I was. Now, you may think, “Lili you’re such a drama queen”, though, that is true, haha. Like, I mentioned before, I beat myself up too much every time I mess up.
This whole day, I have been replaying everything that happened in my head over and over again, until I had to stop myself. As I was looking out the window at work and admiring the clear blue sky (which looks like Andy’s walls), I just felt the Lord punch me in the face. (This is a figure of speech, Jesus will not actually punch you in the face, I think) Enough is enough. I don’t give myself much credit for working hard and trying. I say this in the most humble way possible.
And, I think that’s something many of us struggle with. Remember last week how I encouraged you to write down your strengths and your weaknesses? Well, this is so one of mine, I don’t give myself much credit. Now, I don’t mean that I have to be overly confident, or conceited, and at the end of the day, the person that helps me get through everything is Jesus. I can’t do it alone.
The point I am trying to make here is, it’s okay if you mess up. Hannah Montana said it herself, “everybody makes mistakes, everybody has those days..nobody’s perfect”. Whenever you mess up, don’t be like me, heck, I’m trying my best not to do what I do. Don’t beat yourself up for it. Whatever it is, wether its at work, home, school, church, it’s okay. Everybody messes up.
I encourage you to give yourself a golden star every now and then. Give yourself some confidence. Keep working hard at whatever you’re struggling with. Let’s put it this way, remember when Mulan was getting down to business, to defeat, the Huns? It was NOT easy for her at all. First of all, she was pretending to be someone she is not, like, literally, and she was doing something completely out of her comfort zone. Let’s be honest, Mulan sucked so bad that the handsome Li Shang literally told *sang* to her, “You’re unsuited for the rage of way, so pack up, go home, you’re through, how could I make a man out of you?” Ummmmm, HEARTBREAKING. Now, we all know the story line, Mulan is doing all of this for two reasons,
1. To protect her father
2. To protect China
And as an added bonus, Mulan caught feeling for Li Shang.. AHHHHH *swoons*. So, putting all of these reasonings together, working hard but still failing, and then just being caught off completely. Ugh, I’ve felt that before. If I was in Mulan’s place, I would’ve walked away slowly, then dramatically fallen on my bed, wept, and wished that my Fairy godmother would arrive with some magical Whataburger. But did Mulan do that? NO. NO SHE DID NOT. That only pushed her to work hard and prove to everyone why she deserves to be there. As the song gets more intense and beautiful, we see how Mulan is reaching the arrow that NO ONE COULD REACH. She did it!
Why am I brining up this beautiful story? Because we need to find our inner Mulan. (Yes, that includes singing Reflection with a dramatic passion) *FUN FACT*: Reflection was my senior solo back in high school* ANYWAYS- Sometimes we work super hard for something that we want, or something we want to improve, and it just doesn’t seem to work out. We feel like we have disappointed people, we’re failures, and maybe we get rejected, cut off, or sent home, just like Mulan. Still, we shouldn’t let rejection, disappointment, or anxiety get the best of us.
Some things, aren’t just meant to be
We are focusing so much on our strength, we forget about the strongest of all, Jesus
We are too focused on what we want, instead of what Jesus wants
It’s only a season
Everything that I am typing is sinking deep in my heart. It’s crazy how God works. God knows my heart, God knows yours. God knows our desires, our dreams, our weaknesses, our strengths, God knows it all.
Whatever you are struggling with, hand it to God, take a hold of Him, receive the peace He offers.
When you mess up, try and try again. You’ll get better. You’re getting stronger. You’re getting wiser. Reach for the highest arrow. Prove every Li Shang in your life wrong. I believe in you.
And sigh, I believe in myself too.
“We must be swift as a coursing river, with all the force of a great typhoon, with all the strength of a raging fire, mysterious as the dark side of the mooooooooon…HUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGHH”
If you didn’t sing that, go back and do it again.
Remember, you can do it!
Philippians 4:13 NIV
“I can do all things through him, who gives me strength”
Just for fun:
If you didn’t notice, I quoted:
“Nobody’s Perfect” by Hannah Montana
&
“I’ll Make A Man Out Of You” by the Mulan Motion Picture Soundtrack
Check them out 🙂
Fabulously Un-Fabulous 